22 February 2009

Men Think With Head, Woman With Heart

Dear readers, if you have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart this is a great example. And oldie but a goodie.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHA T??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

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maslight said...

OMG lol macam sweet revenge ohme

Charlton said...

LOL! Nice... xD

Aya said...

Ahahahahahah!!!!! Bangang!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

David said...

dropping by!! hahas, nice story!

Gallivanter said...

LOL! I read this joke before...nice one! :-)

bryan said...

I remember thinking, when I first read this ages ago, that if I ever ever tried to pull a stunt like this, I would be dead.

MikaYuki said...

ahahahahaha!~ LOL MAN!! nice one!!

Nessa said...

First of all, I'd like to see you try that one day and then see my tapak kasut on your face :P

Secondly, what the heck happened to your blog? I thought I entered some weird-ass car site.

swingoutsue said...

i luv this. its not real rite?>?