Men Think With Head, Woman With Heart

Dear readers, if you have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart this is a great example. And oldie but a goodie.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHA T??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

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This Will Brighten Your Tuesday Up!

Short entry up front. I'm actually at work, no wait, I'm actually having my lunch break. Taking this opportunity to blog about something crazy.

If you have the time please help me stop all terrorist acts. As we all know, these acts has gone out of hand and people should practice the art of "BROTHERLY LOVE". [P/s Click on link to learn more about this, don't be surprised, brings tears to the eyes. Like seriously. Bad or good, you decide.]

Otherwise everything will go down to flames.

But seriously, people should be more aware of their everyday actions. Don't you realize that if you middle fingered a waiter early in the morning, and really meant it, he might be pissed and do it to the next guy that pisses him off. The next guy will carry this on because it isn't cool to be middle fingered at. This will continue until it reaches somewhere or someone in the middle east causing wars.

"Ackhmed, I need you to be a suicide bomber, that infidel in camouflage overalls middle fingered me!"

or

"Corporal Adams! Are you going to take that from a terrorist? Never mind what they did to us on 9/11. They middle fingered Lady Liberty!!"

All this is in the name of fun. Don't get all menstrual on me.

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